Q. Each of the panelists wanted to answer the following question because they thought it was important:

What are some of the favorite rules you have implemented in your home, especially when your children’s friends or the neighborhood children are over?

Joanne Raftas:

“For all ages: No friends in our home without our parents being there. Ask a parent first before getting a snack.

“Teenagers: No alcohol, drugs or having sex in my home or on my property.

“I had a pool in my backyard that allowed my teen friends over to come over quite often. I wanted them to feel comfortable bringing their friends to our home and to be able to have a safe place to gather.

“When the teenagers had a party or larger gathering of friends, they gave their keys to me so that they stay put and would have to ask me for their keys if they were going to leave.

“My house was small, so they often had their friends in their rooms, so another rule was to keep their doors open.”

Erin Stalsitz:

“I am not sure if my rules really changed across the age ranges.

“Some to keep in mind would be: to be respectful and kind, playing in open spaces (no closed doors), rules your kids have at home apply when their friends are here (no jumping on furniture, no back talk, no eating in living room or bedrooms, etc.

“For older kids (middle and high school): absolutely no alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and no illegal activity.

“The most important thing for a parent is making sure your home is a safe place for children to hang out and have fun. Also, join in on the fun with them.”

Chad Stefanyak:

“I can only speak to the first age group. My rule was: No one gets left out.”

Denise Continenza:

“Physical safety and boundaries were always important to me when raising my children. I had rules for this which were adjusted as they got older and could be given more privileges.

“Young children: Supervised outdoors by an adult at all times. Boundaries were explained and shown.

“Elementary age children: Shown the physical boundaries in which they could play outside. The consequence for going beyond the boundaries was explained (inside for the rest of the day), and the consequence was enforced.

“High school: A parent needed to be consulted before going anywhere, and we had to approve. Once at the said location I expected them to be there. If they wanted to go somewhere else, such as a different friend’s house, they needed to call and let me know.”

Pam Wallace:

“For the little ones: Play where I can see you, safety plugs on electric outlets, no playing with matches, all must be included, and toys are to be shared or they get put away.

Middle school: Door to room open, no playing with matches, let me know if you leave the house and where you are going, (and you’d better be there).

High school: “I wanted to know where they were going (and you’d better be there). They need to be home on time, and if plans change, they need to call me. And when they got home, they had to come give me a hug, even if I was sleeping. That way I could smell if they had been around alcohol, pot or cigarettes. If the door to your room is closed, be aware that I will pop in at any moment.”

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor; Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, former teacher and school administrator, Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist; Joanne Raftas, Northampton Community College, independent counselor, and Erin Stalsitz, Lehigh Children & Youth.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

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