Dear Jacquelyn,

I’m struggling with what is the birthday party etiquette for children. My daughter will be seven in May, and we are planning a party. This year, my daughter would like to invite children from school, which I think would be fun. How do we go about deciding who to invite and how long the party should last?

Dear Reader,

Birthday parties make perfect etiquette classrooms because there are many opportunities to teach manners.

The goal is to make sure your child’s party will be fun and enjoyable.

For the guest list, there’s no magic number for how many children to invite. You have many choices depending on your child’s age and the size of their “social circle.”

When choosing who to invite, ask yourself how many children you are comfortable hosting. Many families follow the “age plus one” rule.

For example, a party for a 7-year-old could have eight attendees.

If you only plan to invite a few children from the class, you might want to discuss the idea of discretion with your child so they don’t brag about the party in front of others who aren’t invited.

By the time children are eight- to 11-years-old, they can easily handle a two-hour party. This allows plenty of time for playing games, eating cake and opening presents and still short enough, so the children don’t get restless and bored.

Finally, use this as an opportunity to encourage important social graces.

Have the birthday girl personally say thank-you and good-bye to each guest at the door.

The more ownership your daughter feels, the more likely she will practice these good manners in the future.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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