Sex addiction may not be as familiar as other types of addiction, but for spouses it can be the most difficult of because of shame and betrayal.

In her book, “Forgotten in the Battle with Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse,” by Roxanna Johnson (485 pages; paperback, $20.99; ebook, $17.34; Audible, $24.77; Kindle, $9.99; 2024), Johnson writes about its effect, her trauma and her self-healing.

The book, with the subtitle, “Guidance for Spouses and Those who Support Them,” lists ways to cope.

“There is a lot of addiction, and a lot of sex addiction. There are many books and podcasts about it, but not so much on the family side,” Johnson says.

“Addiction is hard on the spouse. There are very few personal resources. I wanted to give a face to those who suffer.

“Being a spouse is part of your identity. But you can be so worried about what other people think, your identity disappears.

“It affects how you see yourself. Every family has a story. They have to tell it and own it. Telling a story’s beginning and middle can help you write the ending,” Johnson says in an interview from her home in Salem, Utah.

Johnson was 46 and recovering from an illness when Jack, her late husband of 24 years admitted his sex addiction, which involved call girls, strip clubs and phone sex. He went into rehab for substance abuse. During the program, a counselor suggested that he was a sex addict.

“I had never even heard of the term,” Johnson says. “People didn’t know what to think about it. Even now there is a lot of shame. People in the clinical industry are still grappling about what term to use to describe it.”

Johnson says her struggles took place over many years:

“I started my journey way back when I found I was treating my daughter the same way my father treated me. I was raised in an alcoholic home. I chose men who had those addictive behaviors.”

Johnson married and divorced two other men who did not suffer from sex addiction, one before and one after her marriage to Jack. Her experiences led Johnson to her path of understanding and eventual forgiveness. She says she used four pillars:

“The first is education. I had to see what I was dealing with. The second is creating a safe community with group support. The third is awakening a higher power, and the fourth is finding a good, competent therapist.”

Johnson emphasizes in her book that normal therapy does not work. Marriage counseling generally assumes that each party is honest and committed to the marriage. Addiction, however, is based on deception.

One of the book’s sections is about setting boundaries. Says Johnson:

“Boundaries are absolutely necessary, saying, ‘I am here and you are there,’ even if some people see them as selfish. They are required for keeping your mental and physical health. I know my own feelings and needs, and I have to take care of my needs.”

Johnson used her Christian faith for support, as she continually relates throughout the book. “Forgotten in the Battle” can be read by anyone, however, regardless of their religious belief.

“I used an equal amount of faith and logic. I am a logical and proactive person,” Johnson says.

Her 20-year experience in writing federal and research grants helped her in writing the book and looking at her situation as a problem which can be solved:

“I started writing it 15 years ago, but the Spirit told me to put it away because I had more to learn. I started again three years ago. It was on my bucket list. I thought that if I don’t help people going through this, I will regret it.”

“Literary Scene” is a column about authors, books and publishing. To request coverage, email: Paul Willistein, Focus editor, pwillistein@tnonline.com