Dear Jacquelyn,

I made the mistake of accepting an invitation to a party that I would rather not attend. I only know the host and barely anyone else. As life would happen, I was then invited to another party that I’d rather attend on the same date. How do I get out of going to the first one?

Dear Reader,

Keep your promises, even if it takes extra effort, and do the right thing.

You really must go to the one you told first. Backing out of a social commitment happens, but to back out of one to go to something better is not a good idea.

You definitely don’t want to burn any bridges, and that might happen if party one finds out you canceled to go to party two.

You’ve already made the commitment and you should follow through. Find some positive reasons to be at the party instead of focusing on the downside.

When you find yourself at a party where you don’t know anyone, the easiest people to start talking to are the ones who appear as lost as you do.

You can find them by looking for folks who are standing by themselves, wandering around, or just staring blankly around the room like you are.

They’ll likely welcome your advances, and feel as relieved as you will to be talking to someone else. And who knows? You might even meet someone you’ll like well enough to enjoy a brief conversation.

The next time you find yourself at the receiving end of an invitation you are not sure you want to accept, give a response that has some wiggle room, like “I have to check, but I’ll get back to you.” If you keep your commitment loose, the other party is not surprised or hurt if you can’t make it.

In the future, you should always do your best to only commit to the things that you’re truly excited about and are very certain you’ll make good on. For now, show up, chat, laugh and have a wonderful time.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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