Dear Jacquelyn,

I was embarrassed and caught off guard during the holidays last year. I received a gift I was not expecting and did not have one to give in return. I didn’t know if I should come up with an excuse or just admit I didn’t buy anything. What should you do when someone buys you a gift and you don’t have one for them?

Dear Reader,

Chances are the gift-giver wanted to treat you to something nice without expectations attached.

Naturally it’s awkward and uncomfortable when you are on the receiving end and you didn’t buy them anything.

Instead of getting hung up on that beautifully wrapped but totally unexpected present, try to concentrate on showing your gratitude. Thank the giver for the gift and respond in the same spirit that the gift was given.

Smile and show your genuine surprise and appreciation. To express heartfelt appreciation, say, “You are so thoughtful. Thank you for thinking of me.” The worst thing you can do is make the giver feel that he or she has made you uncomfortable.

Don’t make excuses and pretend you have a gift at home. You can decide later if you would like to give them a gift in kind, but there is no obligation. To further show your gratitude, follow up with a personal handwritten thank-you note.

Still unnerved by the idea of being without a gift this holiday season?

It’s not a bad idea to have a few just-in-case, universally-liked gifts stored away. Have them wrapped with a tag that reads from our home to yours.

It is inevitable that there will be awkward moments during the holiday season. Keep in mind that many people give gifts without expecting anything in return; the gift is simply a thoughtful gesture.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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