Dear Jacquelyn,

I recently helped a friend and she paid me for the work. A week later I received a gift card as an additional thank-you for helping out. I felt getting paid was more than enough compensation for my effort. I’m wondering do I need to send a thank-you note for the thank-you gift?

Dear Reader,

I understand the dilemma, thanking a thank you can get tricky.

Theoretically, you could end up caught in a never-ending circle of “Thank-yous.”

It’s a common scenario to get caught off guard by an unexpected gift.

Whatever is the case, the way you react matters. Choose to honor the kind gesture in a way that you feel most comfortable with.

In this specific situation, you were already compensated and a phone call letting them know how much you appreciate the thoughtful gesture is all that’s necessary. I’m sure they will appreciate hearing from you and it’s always polite to acknowledge a gift received.

If you feel so inclined you can send a handwritten thank-you note.

However, you may find yourself sending thank-you notes back and forth for a very long time, to the point of ridiculous.

Lastly, always try to avoid falling into the mistake of buying a thank-you gift for the thank-you gift for the thank-you gift.

Thanking a thank-you can get awkward and complicated really quickly.

In general, when you receive a gift or someone extends a gesture that is above-and-beyond the call of duty, a thank-you for their thoughtfulness is an appropriate effort.

The bottom line is: Always acknowledge a thank-you gift either by a phone call or handwritten note. The worst thing that will happen is you will be considered “too polite,” and that’s not a bad thing.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

All Rights Reserved ©2025 Jacquelyn Youst