Log In

Reset Password

Mama’s Musings - Divorce Matters

Every divorce is different. Some people leave their marriages with both parties having enough money to live on. Some people have great co-parenting relationships. Some never have to speak to their ex again.

My ex and I don’t communicate much. I might text him a reminder about a payment being due. Mostly our texts concern our youngest child. Recently, my attorney asked if I knew how much my ex makes. I explained I won’t ask him because I don’t want to antagonize him.

I feel sorry for the high profile people who get divorced. I don’t think any amount of money compensates for the inability to be divorced in relative privacy.

But just as there is a “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book, I wish there was a book detailing what you need to know about divorce. And maybe one for “What You Should do Long Before a Potential Divorce.”

- If you file for child support, you can’t get legal aid because you are the plaintiff. This one is a real pain. No one files for child support because they can take monetary care of their children without it.

-Expect to have to lay your life bare every time you have to file anything. Bring every birth certificate, Social Security card, photos of your family and your ex. Be prepared for invasive questions.

-if you are lucky enough to have an inheritance, do not comingle those funds with your spouse’s in any way. As long as you don’t comingle funds, any inheritance is solely yours, even if you divorce.

-You will grieve what you have lost. And no one is going to send you a sympathy card.

-Single parenting is hard. But you can do it.

These are just a few of the things it would have been good to know before my marriage ended.

On a happier note, it has been great fun seeing the Christmas City celebrate Halloween. I don’t know of any other place that has their winter holiday decorations already up, but it doesn’t dampen anyone’s Halloween spirit.