When I looked at the calendar this morning, I realized today is my late husband’s birthday.

It’s hard to believe he is dead for more years than we were married, because in many ways he influenced my life and thus continues to live in me.

Because of him, I stopped biting my nails. For the first 22 years of my life I was a consummate fingernail chewer.

Erasers and rubber dolls were not safe in my presence, either.

Then, along came the man who would dissolve my stress and, without even thinking about it, I quit my bad habit and have had normal-looking fingers for decades.

What funny things we remember about a person!

Of course, I have other memories of him, too. How could I forget our eventful cross-country trips, sleeping in the car some nights and eating chocolate ice cream for breakfast.

A friend who lost her husband in January tells everyone she is coping by remembering all the fun they had together for almost 50 years.

And she has the photo albums to prove it.

Memories sustain us when our dear ones pass away.

And memories are what keep the departed alive in our hearts.

When we reflect on loved ones we have lost, most of us can count the ways they impacted our lives and continue to live in us.

Special people in our lives help to shape the persons we become.

We remain molded that certain way, even when those who influenced our development pass on.

Be it our values or our favorite hobbies or our desire to help others or our love of books or music, chances are good that someone in our past has played a key role in who we are today.

My mother, who died three years ago, instilled in all her children a love of the natural world.

She taught us to appreciate every aspect of the great outdoors. We rarely spent time in the house.

Her influence stuck. I am a nature lover inside out. My favorite animals are the wild ones.

I love to get my hands in the dirt and my head in the clouds.

Even the volunteer work I have been doing for 17 years takes place outdoors, no matter what the weather.

My mom may be gone physically, but she’s still here. She lives in the flowers and the bees.

I hear her voice in the songs of birds and gurgling streams.

I feel her presence when I gaze at trees and wildlife.

When we reminisce about deceased loved ones and reflect on the ways they helped to shape us, we have to wonder about ourselves and what lasting impression we are leaving on others.

What will we leave behind when we are gone?

Some people strive to leave large estates. Others have in mind something of greater value.

Speaking for myself, I hope someone says, someday, I encouraged her to pursue her dream or I awakened his respect for nature and the wonderful creatures who share our earth.

I hope someone can say my deeds and words planted the seeds of activism or advocacy.

When I die, perhaps someone will remember me for my creativity.

I am sure some folks will think of me whenever they see a squirrel.

Whether we intend to or not, we leave a mark on those who know us, those whose lives we influence in some way.

All of us must take that inevitable journey one day and depart this earth.

And just as the special people who touched our lives continue to live in us, even though they no longer physically live with us, we, too, can leave a legacy which makes a lasting difference in the people we leave behind.

Continuing to live in others, after we’re gone, makes us feel immortal.