Movie Review: ‘Beasts’
While many Harry Potter fans may love “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them,” this Harry Potter fan did not. To put it simply: “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them” is one of the worst films of 2016.
A “Harry Potter” film was an event for my son, Elias, and me. After graduating Magna cum laude in Honors Chemistry from Moravian College, Elias is studying for a PhD in chemistry at graduate school. Elias is doing his own wizardry. So, your intrepid reviewer had to go it alone.
There was palpable anticipation in the theater before the movie began. “This never gets old,” said one moviegoer. Well, yes, it does, at least for this moviegoer.
The film is pretty much of a mess, thanks to director David Yates (“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2,” 2011; “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1,” 2010; “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,” 2009; “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” 2007, with “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 2” in pre-production for 2018 release, and “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” 3, 4 and 5 announced) certainly knows the territory. So does the screenwriter, none other than “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling, based on her novel. But where’s the fun? Where’s the delight? Where’s the surprise?
In “Fantastic Beats,” Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne, doing his best and worst stooped shoulder, downcast head, lip-biting, glancing eyes Muggles’ mugging) has a suitcase full of creatures, three of which escape and he must retrieve them. That’s about it for the plot. The disappearing into the suitcase magician’s trick gets old fast.
There’s an attempt at an overarching plot involving Graves (preening and pontificating Colin Farrell; he’s no Alan Rickman); Tasmanian Devil meets magnetic steel filings tornadic activity tearing up 1920s’ New York City streets and knocking down buildings when all along it’s misunderstood Credence Barebone (Ezra Miller), and a procession of wizards in fake leather long coats and fedoras like a crew of rejects from the “Twilight” film series, led by Seraphina Picquery (Carmen Ejogo) in what looks like an outfit from the “Star Trek” TV show (1968-’69). The movie has the cartoonish sense of “Dick Tracy” (1980), but with computer animation.
Scamander’s sidekick is a non-wizard, Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler, resembling young Orson Welles, sans the acting chops). Scamander and Kowalski are somewhat like Laurel and Hardy, and not in a good way. There’s a terse love interest between Scamander and Tina Goldstein (perplexed Katherine Waterston). Kowalski’s love interest is Queenie (Alison Sudol, the brightest presence in the film).
Yes, the “Beasts” are “Fantastic.” But that was never the point with “Harry Potter” books, movies and merchandise. “Harry Potter” is about the interaction of the protagonists. Alas, in “Fantastic Beasts,” there’s little of this. Where’s Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe), Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) when you need them? For that matter, where are actors the likes of Maggie Smith, Fiona Shaw and Robbie Coltrane?
The creatures in “Harry Potter” were a plus. In “Fantastic Beasts,” the creatures are the center and, yet, again unlike in “Harry Potter,” there’s little interaction, i.e., they have scant if any dialogue, and are mainly seen flying and gadding about. And those wizards’ wands: in “Fantastic Beasts,” they go nuclear.
The best thing about “Fantastic Beasts” are the dizzying effects in 3D, the format the film was seen for this review. You will duck and jump in your seat at times when the creatures, objects and other items “fly” toward your head. “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them” is the first of five films. Your dutiful film reviewer will probably see them, but, unlike with the “Harry Potter” movies, not willingly.
“Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them,”MPAA rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some Material May Be Inappropriate For Children Under 13.) for some fantasy action violence; Genre: Adventure, Family, Fantasy; Run Time: 2 hrs., 13 min.; Distributed by Warner Bros.
Credit Readers Anonymous: “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them” was filmed in Leavesden Studios and Liverpool, England.
Box Office,Nov. 25: “Moana,” the Disney animated feature starring Dwayne Johnson, a Liberty High School, Bethlehem, graduate, with songs by Lin-Manuel Miranda (Broadway’s “Hamilton”) ruled the Thanksgiving Day weekend box office, No. 1 with $55.5 million and $81.1 million since opening Nov. 23, chasing “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” to No. 2 from its one-week No. 1 perch with $45.1 million, and $156.2 million, two weeks; 3. “Doctor Strange,” $13.3 million, $205 million, four weeks; 4. “Allied,” $13 million, weekend, $18 million, since Nov. 23 opening; 5. “Arrival,” $11.2 million, $62.3 million, three weeks; 6. “Trolls,” $10.3 million, $135.1 million, four weeks; 7. “Almost Christmas,” $7.6 million, $36.6 million, three weeks; 8. “Bad Santa 2,” $6.1 million, weekend, $9 million, since Nov. 23 opening; 9. “Hacksaw Ridge,” $5.4 million, $52.2 million, four weeks; 10. “The Edge of Seventeen,” $2.9 million, $10.2 million, two weeks.
Box Office,Nov. 18: “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them” opened at No. 1, with $74.4 million, pushing “Doctor Strange” to No. 2, after two-weeks straight at No. 1, with $17.7 million, $181.6 million, three weeks; 3. “Trolls,” $17.4 million, $116.1 million, three weeks; 4. “Arrival,” $12.1 million, $43.7 million, two weeks; 5. “Almost Christmas,” $7.2 million, $25.6 million, two weeks; 6. “Hacksaw Ridge,” $6.6 million, $42.7 million, three weeks; 7. “The Edge of Seventeen,” $4.7 million, one week; 8. “Bleed for This.” $2.3 million; 9. “The Accountant,” $2.1 million; $81.2 million, six weeks; 10. “Shut In,” $1.6 million, $6 million, two weeks.
Unreel,Dec. 2:“Jackie,”R: Pablo Larraín directs Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard, Greta Gerwig and Billy Crudup in the biography-drama about First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy after the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
Two Popcorn Boxes out of Five Popcorn Boxes